What's up my Witnesses?! Now ever year NBA "experts" try to give out the awards and use what little knowledge (bias) they have and crown the who's-who of the NBA. This year I'm changing it up a tad. Now I've been giving out these awards since, give or take, my playing days at USC. But this year I'm taking my talents to the blog. So without further ado, the awards go to...
The "NBA: No Boys Allowed" Award: Dwyane Wade
The "NBA: No Boys Allowed" Award: Dwyane Wade
Ok Wade, man up. We all know it was you who cried in the locker room.
The "Quote of the Year" Award: Gilbert Arenas
The "Quote of the Year" Award: Gilbert Arenas
(in reference to himself and JJ Redick) "We're the two best white shooters in the NBA"
Common Gilbert, even if 'white' is a metaphor for something besides your skin color, I'm still the best shooter in the NBA
The "Too Much Swag" Award: Kirk Hinrich
Since trade to Hawks, Hinrich now reps Amare glasses and a John Wall armband....smh
Common Gilbert, even if 'white' is a metaphor for something besides your skin color, I'm still the best shooter in the NBA
The "Too Much Swag" Award: Kirk Hinrich
Since trade to Hawks, Hinrich now reps Amare glasses and a John Wall armband....smh
The "Coach of the Year" Award: Erik Spoelstra
We all know it takes a lot of ability to 3rd and 6th best player in the NBA (Lebron and Wade, myself being #1 of course and D-Rose being #2) and a velociraptor to Finals but he also came up with numerous quotes throughout the year such as "We can't let go of that rope" "Weather this storm" and many others. He also receives this award for looking lost during half the games and admitting players cried after a game. (See NBA: No Boys Allowed award)
The "Locker Room Hero" Award: Deron Williams
The glue that held the Jazz together this year...I mean the Nets...I mean the Knicks next year.
The "Biggest Flopper" Award: Tie: Lebron, Wade, and Bosh
I guess when Lebron said taking his talents to South Beach he meant flopping talent too
The "Best Mid-Season Acquisition" Award: Jeff Green
"Don’t worry we still have Big Baby."... Surprisingly that was #realtalk. First they let me go and now Perk... surprised Doc gotta extension
The "Robert Parish Iron Man" Award: Tie: Greg Oden and Yao Ming
Oden is the first 4-time winner of this award (dating back to Ohio State). So much production from those legs
The "Adam Morrison" Award: Jimmer Fredette
I heard the Lakers plan on trading up to draft Jimmer since they lost Morrison this year and uncoincidentally didn't 3-peat.
The "Simple Math: 8 > 1" Award: The
Who would have thought Marc would be the better
The "Sabbatical" Award:
26 game losing streak. 26 more years of heartbreak. Good luck Kyrie..
The "3 Point Shooters Don't Make HOF Ballots" Award: Ray Allen
Call Reggie Miller after you retire to learn how to cope 5 years later when the ballots are released
The "Biggest Choker" Award: Tie: Lebron and Gloria James
Lebron chokes in the 4th and Gloria chokes on well.....Delonte
The 'Half Time Isn't 45 Minutes Long" Award: Dennis Rodman
Dennis spoke less during the entire season of Celebrity Rehab that he did when the Pistons retired his number
The "This Isn't the MLB All-Star Game (I'm showing you I'm Sill Elite)" Award: Kobe Bryant
Had 37 points, 14 rebounds, and 3 assists in a meaningless game to prove he is still an elite player. Also had 0 regular season MVP's. And a 2nd round exist from the playoffs. Ya Kobe your still an elite player...smh
The "Blocks Are Overrated, Rebounds Help My Team" Award: Kevin Love
See Hasheem Thabeet...if he's still in the D-League
The "I Hate When My Team Shoots A Perfect 20-20 In A Quarter" Award: Josh McRoberts
All you had to do was hold the ball, Josh. Or turn the ball over. Or dribble around for 5 seconds. Or pass to a teammate. Pretty much anything EXCEPT take a 3 pointer as time expired
The "I Don't Play So When I Go In I'm Going To Injure The MVP": Jeff Foster
He's lucky they didn't put that jersey on me or I would've opened a can of whooooop ass on him.
The "AARP Card" Award: Miami Heat
How many 50+ year olds are you gunna sign to warm the bench? Juwan Howard. Really? Common man. Should've just sign the rest of the Fab 5 too.
The "White Mamba" Award:
Sorry Dirk but this one goes to yours truly. I'm the one and only White Mamba
- The White Mamba
